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Expect Attitude - Walking On The Fine Line Since 2012 | June 23, 2017

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The Expect Attitude Guide To The Holy Bible

The Expect Attitude Guide To The Holy Bible

Just How Many People Have Read The Entire Bible?

Do you believe in the bible? Did you know that 80% of US households have a bible in them? Would it surprise you that more people who are non-believers of the bible have read it cover to cover as you would any other book then believers had? I wouldn’t be surprised by that, as nothing will convert you to being an Atheist faster than reading that book will. Many people swear up and down by the bible most likely without having any idea of what is really going on inside it which I have to say I find quite humorous. If you were to come up to me and want to tell me it is the “infallible” word of god himself, I have some news for you. If you want to tell me it is historically accurate and is all true, again I have some news for you. But I’m not going to just do you the disservice of simply telling you that you’re wrong. I’m going to break it down a little bit and really show you why you’re wrong.

The bible is a collection of fictional stories written by different men over a period of time. Which stories actually made it into the bible was voted on by a committee tasked with putting the book together. It’s mythic storytelling with an agenda and that’s it. The more that archaeologists and historians learn about biblical times, the more we are now starting to realize that most of the bible is just made up goofy nonsense. And a lot of the stories in my opinion aren’t really even all that good. Sorry to be the one to disappoint, but yeah, all the stuff you grew up with like Noah and his boat and Moses parting the Red Sea are all just fables. Science and logic already told you that, but now you have it from the source.

I’m here to tell you my friends, it is nothing more than a book based on faith, and is part of a religious system of beliefs that do not conform to the way science works. The way it’s done in a nutshell, is to look for the evidence and to challenges one’s own beliefs and theories. That’s science. I think what really bugs me the most though with this subject is when someone takes the bible literally, and then tries to live their life by it and spouts off their favorite quotes as if they were fact while ignoring other aspects. We’ll uncover a few things later on that may make these kinds of people change their minds, or at least second guess a little bit the book they hold as the truth.

 

The Old Testament

Let’s start at the beginning, just like the bible. Genesis. God supposedly created the heavens and the earth in 6 days, then took a day off. This is a story written by someone who did not have access to the modern technology and research science has done in regards to the big bang theory and how the universe was really truly created. It is a simple minded person from a more simple time in history who didn’t understand something, who then filled in the blanks with whatever fit his idea and made sense to him and who then wrote a story about it. We’re not going to get into the ideas of some people wanting this to be taught in the classrooms, or the idea of an intelligent design but be aware, they are still out there. Both are pretty ludicrous. The science is what it is. You can’t bend or twist it to fit into your mold. You have to accept it for what it is or is not.

How about Noahs ark? Do you believe in that one? The idea of getting the tens of millions of species, one male and one female, onto a boat is just absurd. Believe it or not, there are about 950,000 species of insects alone! We’re not even taking into account the impossibility of after the flood was over, making sure that the polar bears were returned to the arctic while elephants returned to Africa. He couldn’t just let them all off of the boat to hope they went back to the right spot. Oh yeah, and according to the story, Noah was old… Like really fucking old. I always find it amusing to watch someone try and argue that Noah’s ark really happened. Apparently, Joe Rogan feels the same way

What about Moses and the Red Sea? This is another story that people speak of quite a lot. Did you know that it is documented no where outside of the bible about the Jews being enslaved by Egypt. Same goes for a dude named Moses. Nowhere outside of the bible will you ever find mention of him. Anyway, we all know the story of the 10 plagues that ends with the slaughter of the innocent first born child of every Egyptian. Yes, the god in the bible killed babies… and quite a few from the sounds of it. These weren’t bad babies either who deserved to die. They were good babies. Some may look at it as a baby is a baby, and no baby deserves to die. Whatever… After the death of all the babies, (that’ll never feel right to type by the way) they allegedly spent 40 years wandering the desert. Again, no archeological proof has even been found to support this claim. You would think a huge group of people, like all of the Jews on the planet, would leave behind some sort of evidence in the desert for us to find all these years later. Nope, nothing. Not a single thing gives evidence that this event ever took place.

 

The New Testament

Now the new testament deals with the story of Jesus, his birth, life and death ending with turning zombie and rising from the dead. A huge part of modern day Christianity and Catholicism primarily focuses on Jesus. I’m going to say from all I’ve read and heard some dude named Jesus did indeed walk on the earth at about the time the bible claims he did. There were also quite a few other men that lived at the same time that called themselves the messiah. A fellow by the name of Appollonius of Tyana has an almost identical story to that of Jesus including the way he died by crucification and then being resurrected a few days later. The new testament is simply 4 different versions of stories about this one particular guy named Jesus with a god complex who could perform magic tricks at the parties.

Over time people have tried to claim that things such as the shroud of turin are proof that he did exist. I’m not arguing that he didn’t exist. I’m arguing that he is not the son of god. He’s was just some nut who said he was the son of god and people believed him. It’s really no different then a bum on the street today claiming he is the son of god. There is absolutely no difference between the two. You have to remember that all of this stuff happened at a time where the masses weren’t very educated, and technology and science were non existent. You are reading stories that have been edited and re-edited over the course of 2000 years. Books were all written and transcribed by hand. Authors are going to take liberties. Things are going to become exaggerated and more miraculous over each rendition until eventually, you have this “perfect” version of what a religions book should be. It was all written knowing this would be the one book to represent them and help push an agenda.

 

Using the Bible As A Moral Code

To take the bible literally and use it as a moral code is a bit of a scary thing. Remember, if you think the bible is the absolute word of god, you do not have the option of picking and choosing what words to follow and what not to. It’s all of your gods own rules, laws, and life tips. Just check out some of these fucked up passages and then be glad more people don’t actually read and follow the bible…

  • Just a chapter after the lame bit about homosexuality being wrong you hear quoted all the time by nutballs is a quip about stoning to death disobedient little kids
  • Exodus 21: 7 says it is ok to sell your daughter into slavery
  • Deuteronomy 28: 53 says because of the dire straits to which you will be reduced when your enemy besieges you, you will eat your own children, the flesh of your sons and daughters whom the Lord has given you. Can I get a side of fries with that?
  • Leviticus 25: 44 says your male and female slaves are to come from the nations around you; from them you may buy slaves (so slavery is ok, just as long as they are foreigners)
  • Exodus 35: 2 says anyone working on the sabbath should be put to death
  • Deuteronomy 13: 12-15 says if you find that the people in the city you’re visiting worship another god, you have to kill them all. Yep every single one of em
  • Leviticus 24: 16 says whoever utters the name of the lord must be put to death. The whole community must stone him, whether alien or native. If he utters the name, he must be put to death. Hmmm… seems a bit harsh to me
  • Corinthians 11: 19-24 says a man should not go near a woman when she is on her period
  • Leviticus 20: 10 says if a man cheats on his wife, or the wife cheats on the husband, both the man and the woman must die
  • Mark 10: 11-12 states whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery. Uh oh, a lot of Americans are in trouble on that one… Don’t forget that adultery is considered a sin!
  • Leviticus 19: 19 says do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material. Ummm. OK?
  • Deuteronomy 23:1 says no man whose testicles have been crushed or whose organ has been cut off may become a member of the assembly of god. Doh!

Parts of the bible can be used to help you formulate your moral compass I suppose, but do you really need a book to tell you that things like murder and cheating are wrong? What about using a little common sense? Using the bible as a moral code is just bad because the bible promotes some pretty crazy fucked up stuff. Stuff that would not only get you thrown into prison now days, but would also make you come off like a bit of an asshole. It promotes cruelty, prejudice, injustice, rape and murder. Oh, and it’s really mean to innocent little babies too. Stop the madness! Stop the insanity!

Now that you’ve heard my take on it, go and read it for yourself. Read it cover to cover, first page to the last. If you can get through the whole thing, and you still think it’s a great book that represents a god you want to be associated with, then by all means go right ahead. We live in a free country, where freedom of religion is a given right. But don’t be on a high horse thinking you and your structure of beliefs are the one and the truth because they are not, especially religious beliefs based on the holy bible. People like me are going to make fun of you for it. The bible is not the word of god. It’s actually the words of some really old dudes from a long fucking time ago with some pretty fucked up views that had an agenda, and that believers, is not any fiction.

What do you think? We’d love to hear you sound off with your thoughts in the comments below!

 

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